Everyone’s comfort level is different. As a wedding professional that talks to multiple couples a week (and performs at weddings every weekend), it has been brought to my attention that quite a few older wedding traditions can cause anxiety for wedding party members and guests alike. Here are three wedding traditions that can cause anxiety that might want to be avoided (or at least thought about).
Wedding Party Introductions
Let’s face it; many people don’t like the spotlight. Being in front of large groups of people while everyone is looking at them can be daunting. The traditional way of doing wedding introductions is a prime example of this. Some of your wedding party members might LOVE the attention and want to put on a show. Others, however, might be shy and don’t want to dance in front of everyone.
Another way they can create a sense of unease is that some wedding party members might not know each other. The awkwardness can be especially true if the concept of your grand entrance asks them to dance with a stranger in a room full of people they do not know. There is a way to avoid this: Instead of doing single or couple introductions, introduce the entire party as a group. For more information, please check out MY BLOG POST on different types of wedding introductions and the pros and cons of each style.
Bouquet and Garter Toss
Over the last few years, it has become a trend for many couples to refrain from doing the traditional bouquet and garter toss events at their weddings. After talking with previous brides, it makes sense why they are refraining from doing one, if not both, of these. The reason for doing either event is to create a large crowd of non-married people on the dance floor to make the event more fun, energetic, and photogenic. The reality is that some of your single guests, particularly older ones, might want to avoid having attention drawn to them that they are single.
Garter tosses can be incredibly awkward for the bride as the groom typically goes up her dress in front of all the guests (including their parents and any children present). If you feel that these events will cause anxiety in any of your guests (or yourself!), it is OK to avoid them entirely.
Toasts
Public speaking can be a daunting task for many individuals. Studies have shown that 50-75% of people have some fear or anxiety associated with public speaking. The national institute of mental health reports that the fear of public speaking is worse than the fear of death!
It is imperative to make sure ahead of time that your typical wedding speakers that will be performing the toasts (Best man, maid of honor, parents) are comfortable speaking in front of people BEFORE the wedding. If not, an alternative is to make any toasts at the rehearsal dinner, where the crowd is much smaller or not at all.
Avoid uncomfortable situations at your wedding!
Just remember: the last thing you want is for your guests, wedding party, or family members to feel uncomfortable at your wedding. Understanding that different people have different levels of comfort can go a long way to ensure a smooth and enjoyable experience for everyone!